Why do we need to talk about regret?
We’re constantly told to take charge of our careers: Be proactive. Take ownership. Make the most out of it and don’t let anyone else steer. But what happens when things go wrong anyway? When choices don’t pan out, or opportunities are missed? In modern careers, where responsibility is placed squarely on the individual, regret can be a heavy, and often lonely, emotional burden.
Yet, the good news is regret isn’t inevitable. Our latest study shows how people can face difficulties in their career such as failure and setbacks withoutspiraling into regret. Our study, published in the Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology, breaks new ground by showing how difficulties don’t have to be feared. In fact career difficulites can be repaired, and thereby even become a force for renewed clarity and offer a great learning opportunity.
How people can face difficulties in their career such as failure and setbacks withoutspiraling into regret.
From regretting to embracing
We asked 109 professionals who engaged in executive education and have stepped back to reflect on their careers about moments of difficulties such as unmet expectations, missed decisions, or paths not taken.
What we found was revealing: not all of them experience these difficulties with regret. As one professional (pseudonym) emphasized: ‘I made a lot of mistakes, don’t get me wrong, really bad mistakes, but I can’t actually acknowledge one single thing I actually regret’ (Anton).
Thus, regret is not simply the outcome of a bad decision. In fact, many participants felt regret even when others had made decisions for them—or when they didn’t act at all. So what do individuals do when regret sets in? We identified three repair strategiesthat people use to turn a difficuly into embracing instead of regretting.
Regret is not simply the outcome of a bad decision. In fact, many participants felt regret even when others had made decisions for them—or when they didn’t act at all.
Repair strategies
- Reclaiming repair strategy
People use this strategy to realign their career with personal values and/or restore their career through renegotiation of their salary or position.
- Enriching repair strategy
Here people try to fix the difficulty in their career through getting new knowledge and broaden their horizon or by adding new tasks or projects that provide greater fulfilment.
- Mobilizing repair strategy
With this strategy people try to adress difficulties by making career changes such as returning to a prior position, founding their own company, or move into a more promising role in a different environment.
What pushed people to bounce back from regret? Two things: taking charge and trusting themselves.
The real difference between “regretters” and “embracers”? A mix of guts, values, and self-trust!
Those who embraced their career missteps weren’t just lucky: they made intentional moves based on what truly mattered to them. They didn’t wait for perfect conditions but they acted and they believed in their own judgment, even when the path was unclear.
The real difference between “regretters” and “embracers”? A mix of guts, values, and self-trust!
What can managers, coaches, and professionals learn?
If you’re mentoring, managing, or coaching people in moments of career reflection. Or if you’re facing one yourself, our research offers some key takeaways:
- Normalize difficulties: It’s a natural part of contemporary, self-driven careers. Avoiding it at all costs may lead to emotional suppression or disengagement. Rather help individuals to make a distinction between a difficulty and the feeling of regret.
- Support repair: Help individuals to explore ways to reframe, regulate, or act on their difficulty, rather than pretending it didn’t exist.
- After repair use difficulties as learning tools: Facing a career difficulty can highlight values, missed priorities, or unexplored interests—opening new paths for ownership. Our study shows that engaging with repair strategies fosters future repair.
It is not the diffiiculty itself that leads to regret — it’s how we respond to it.
A word of caution
Repair strategies are not a magic fix. They require reflection, time, and often emotional support. In some contexts taking action may not always be possible. Still, even cognitive and emotional work can help individuals feel more in control.
Final thoughts
Contemporary careers come with freedom, flexibility but also responsibility. This also means distressing moments, mistakes and setbacks are unavoidable. Our research shows that the way individuals respond to difficulties can help them to avoid regretting their difficulties and determine a more promising future full of embracement.
A difficuly in one’s career might just be a turning point.
